The Beauty of the Rough Draft :<)

So much for my resolution to write every Sunday. So should I feel the role of a failure now or move on and ignore the fact that I disappointed myself?

Ah to write, staring at a blank screen, the cursor blinking begging for the next letter. I'm waiting it cries. Bleep, Bleep.

Ahhh... :<) To write, a task I was expected to do the first 10 years of my adulthood. Read this book and respond and do it within this deadline. Actually, this is my experience with writing since I learned to do so. Respond to this statement I created, read this book or choose from this list of books and respond. Yet now that I have my time, my opportunity to express - I'm at a loss.

I married in 95. Well I first married in 91 - at 19 and then divorced that legalized connection in 92. I didn't read or write that whole year. As 92 came and went I started to read again. I read simple stories, harlequin, you know the sort. A great love story to help you escape they daily humdrum and heartache. I grew tired of that sort of reading and enrolled in school and was accepted - shocker for me! For the next 10 years it was read this and respond. Of course I had a choice, to some degree, I chose my major - 3 times :<). I chose some of the elective choices within the major but for the most part my choices were made for me. REad and respond. I did in a mediocre fashion. Sometimes I found a passionate argument to write down but once the class was over the passion dimmed. Upon graduation and a second enrollment towards a graduate degree and more reading and responding I started teaching. I found new arguments and new passions to read and respond about but that too dimmed. Now I have free time. It's what I wanted. Time to write. Time to read what I want.

It took me awhile after this forced reading and responding to pick up a book and it's taken much longer for me to pick up a pen. Actually, I haven't picked up the pen. I've thought about search 2nd hand stores for an old typewriter, just for the experience...ah the blog...

My grandma passed away last year. About 5 years ago she started sending books home with my husband and myself when we visited. My husband was never much of a reader. Thanks to my grandma - well both grandmas - he reads daily. Mormonism for caught his interest. A critical look into that is. And then he discovered the White Indian Series. I can't remember who read the first book. I think he'd read the first and maybe the second or 3rd and talked me into it and then somehow I pushed ahead in the series. I'm a faster reader. I made it up to 18 or 19 he's well past me now. It's a great series that provides and alternative perspective of the American Revolution and up through the trail of tears. Not sure where it ends, not sure where the truth lies but it's a good story and makes you question, makes you want to learn more, research more.

My husband recently began re-reading the series me, I've moved on. This past year I've followed characters created by Susan Wigg - love her recipes and her reasoning for providing them within her stories, Iris Johansen - she shocked me with her description of the rape and pillage of the French Jacobins. ...I was on an Ann Rule kick for awhile but I'm overly sensitive to true crime stories. And now...

My latest story and the reason for this blog post.

Secrets About LIfe Every Woman Should Now. I've opened the book and read some of the acknowledgments that's about it. I discovered this book from another Etsy seller. She shared the inspiration and peace she felt form reading this book. I've been reading this past year to ease the anxiety, loneliness and depression brought on my the death of my grandparents and uncle, life in a new town, new state, the struggle to raise 3 boys and the new experience of living apart from my ever traveling spouse.

So, Barbara De Angelis, SALEWSK - (Secrets About Life....). The author writes about relationships I've learned from the acknowledgments and first few pages. Perfect right up my communicative ally. You see my colleague Jerry likes to pull me into his class to help facilitate the "relationship" section of his Com 101 class. Little does he know, I have know idea what a relationship is. ? Do you? Ya think so huh? Lol

This book, in particular, SALEWSK, Secrets, is about an intrapersonal relationship - a relationship with your "self." Hmm..also up my introspective ally - lol. If your up for an emotional spiritual journey, stick around and let's see what this book is about. Hope to write soon but in the meantime - pick up the book and share your comments. Try not to get too ahead of me - and please don't give away the ending. :<)

Ah - so nice to not have to worry about grammatically boundaries :<)