Feb 26, 2014

A Fresh Start: Or At Least - A Start

It seams my friends, family and acquaintances feel batty as I rant and rave about our education system and my experiences with education. Moving my thoughts away from Facebook to my stagnate blog is an attempt to "be happy," "fight right," and not "dump" on those relationships that I do have. Currently I'm reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin and choose to find happiness in my relationships.

Recently, I returned to my THP book and began reading chapter 2 "Remember Love." Gretchen's focuses on marital relations but I believe much in this chapter is relevant for all relationships. This chapter is broken down into Quit Nagging, Don't Expect Praise or Appreciation, Fight Right, No Dumping, and Give Proofs of Love. Her No Dumping section resonated with me and I realized I continually dump on my facebook "family."

This chapter provides me with a mirror in which I see myself dumping my educational frustrations on my limited community of listeners. Her next Chapter "Work" (chp. 3) helps me see why I dump. Gretchen explains her discovery of living right - finding what sort of life long task completed her. This discovery came while she considered what she likes to do in her free time. So I reflect. What do I do in my free time? Designing, learning and continually researching education: what works, what doesn't, what others say. Clearly researching and writing about Education feels right to me. I like to write about what feels good and what feels right, growth and non-growth in education because Education feels right to me.

My next, educational rant, status update often occurs to me well before I write it and usually in the middle of the night when I'm awoken and my mind won't turn off. I mull negative and positive ideas over and identify them as really important. Then I get antsy to write this brainstorms down. So antsy that I don't care about type-os, omitted words, poor phrasing etc.. I just have to get whatever I've written - out there. It's so important - lol. When I'm writing the post I am excited and on a high but once it's posted it's usually a let down because no one comments - generally - or if I ask for comments they just don't get to the heart of what I'm saying. In all honesty, the most likely don't care or it's beyond their scope, not their focus.

I equate my dumping actions with a need to express my insecurities probably about my own educational failures and frustrations, a need for validation of my educational successes, as well as a need for someone to "take more interest in my work" (Rubin, p.52). I think at this point my facebook readers, for the most part, aren't equipped to give that sort of support in this subject that I seek, are to overwhelmed with their own pressing issues to "spend hours pumping up my self-confidence" (Rubin, p. 53) or really aren't up for playing "the role of a female [not sure I completely agree with the gender distinction - but] writer" (Rubin, p.53). My conclusion - on facebook I'm not writing for an educational community, for the most part, they don't want to be my writing partner.

Quite a long rant to explain my purpose. LOL

So for now... This blog is my attempt to set aside 15 min. a day to what feels good, feels bad, feels right in a process of educational growth.

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